Let that be a lesson to you.

It was opening night in New York City.  We were playing Madison square garden, and being a 19 year old who lived in a bubble, I had never heard of the place.  My dad nearly fell over when he heard we were playing there.

That show was one of the biggest highs I’ve ever had.  Afterwards, production threw us a big party, everyone was buzzing and the drinks flowed freely.  It didn’t seem important at the time that it was a Friday, and the next day was a Saturday.  Saturdays mean 3 shows, the first being at 10 am, which meant getting to the building at 8am in order to eat, make-up, warm up etc. None of that mattered then.

“Babe……..BABE!  It was 9.50 am.

I rolled over. A hotel room. My boyfriend Moss jumping all over the place.  My brain began processing what he’d said, 9.50…9.50…ten to ten…ten to….SHIT!  I jumped up, looking down I see I’m still wearing my black party dress.  There was no time, in ten minutes the show would start.  Fuck it, let’s go.

Outside the glaring sun burned my eyes.  I didn’t even know where to begin getting to the Garden from the hotel, luckily Moss did, we started walking…trotting…jogging, bare-footed, my black 6 inch heels from the night before in my hands.

“Fuck this, let’s get a cab”

We jumped in a cab and sat in solid traffic for approximately two minutes before getting out again.  Now we were really pushed for time.  Forget walking, trotting or jogging, by now were we full out sprinting down the streets of New York, anywhere else in the world we would have looked ridiculous. Not here.

 I could picture the other girls wondering where the hell I was.  They would all be there, sitting atop their elelphants, waiting for the opening parade in their enormous headdresses, sparkling silver shoes and humongous wings on their backs.  The first elephant’s back would be empty – that one was mine.

God knows how we got there, but we did.  I promised myself so many things during that sprint.  I would stop drinking, stop smoking, I would be responsible and double check my alarm EVERY NIGHT.

The girls faces were  just as I suspected, luckily for me my two hungarian friends didn’t let me down.  Performing an impressive 60 second make-over on my face and clothes, they got me into my costume (including enormous headdress, sparkling silver shoes and humongous wings on my back) as I stood there panting and sweating.

I literally mounted my elephant as she was entering the arena.  I smiled.  I waved.  I sweated.  I passed Moss who was crouched down on the floor doing rigger-type stuff.  He looked surprised and a little confused as he saw me pass.  

It was over.  Well the first bit was.  Luckily my act was the second to last so I had at least an hour to pull myself together before spinning by my neck on a platform 13 foot up.  Time to sort my face out.

The girls did their best bless them, but looking in the mirror I saw what the audience and Moss had seen.  My pastey, sweaty face. Brilliant white and shiny.  Fire-engine red lipstick, and charcoal black eye-brows.  Nothing more, nothing less.

Later it was reported that several children asked why a clown was on the first elephant, smiling and waving and trying to pass herself off as a show girl.

Throw mama from the train.

During my time on Ringling brothers, we travelled by train, unless you had a car, then you could drive. One time, a friend who had a car decided he wanted to go on a train run, and asked if we would drive his car to the next town, we said yes.  

After we finished load out at the building, Moss and I went back to the train to hang out as it wasn’t leaving till about 1am.  So we were  sat chatting with some friends and suddenly the train started to move.  We both jumped up and ran to the vestibule.  Looking outside we saw our friend with his car that we were supposed to be driving to the next town. “Dude! ” he shouted ” What the fuck? You have to get off”  Since the train had only just started moving and was going relatively slowly we kind of thought this was the only option.  Moss said he would go first….

 He jumped.  He jumped like a stunt man, doing a ridiculous dive and then rolling to absorb the impact.  Then he turned around – I swear everything turned slow motion as I sailed past him with him turning around and starting to shout “Doooooooooooonnnnnn’ttttttttttt juuuuuuuuuuuu…it was too late, there was no way I was staying on the train, and so I jumped.  Except I didn’t jump like a stunt woman, I jumped like a school girl.  I was actually wearing a backpack and, holding on to the straps, I jumped with two feet together, no going with the movement of the train, just straight out in front of me….

 If that day taught me anything is that you should NEVER under estimate how fast a train is going, because you may not think it’s going that fast but you will soon realise it when you hit the ground.  Needless to say it wasn’t pretty, I honestly couldn’t tell you if my feet touched the ground, but I know one thing – my face did, but it wasn’t the ground it was the next track over, the side of me face smacked straight onto it. also my knees, and I could already feel my hip burning.  

So I lay there for a second realising what i had just done and being quite grateful that i didn’t actually roll back under the train, and then I began to get up.  I could feel my face swelling and blood coming out of my knee and then I looked up.  A bus has just pulled up.  The last bus from the arena to the train.  About 20 crew guys had just got off it, just in time to see my comedy train jumping routine.  Mortified doesn’t even cover it.  

I started hobbling over, trying to act as cool as possible, like jumping off a moving train and smacking my face against the cold hard track hadn’t even phased me, Everyone asked if I was ok, and i shrugged it off like it nothing, and I was always doing stuff like that. Then one guy, who still couldn’t believe what he’d just seen, just looked at me and said “Was that not the dumbest thing you have ever done?’ (Thanks Lewis, your words will stay with me always)  I kind of nodded. “Why did you do that?’  I couldn’t actually speak at that point through the throbbing pain and humiliation “The train’s just joining up with the other half you know”  Now I really wanted to cry. (As the train was so big, In some train yards it was split over different tracks so it had to join up again.)  Moss spoke for me “It’s not leaving yet?’  ”Err no”. I had just jumped off a moving train for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

So there you have it folks, moral for the day, never jump from a moving train, you will probably hurt yourself or worse still make a complete tit of yourself in front of others and lets face it – it just not worth it.

In the beginning.

During my time in the circus I kept telling myself I should write down my stories and eventually write a book, however I didn’t, and now ten years on, I don’t think those stories would be as relevant today.  I think I may have missed my chance for that,  but I thought I could use this blog to tell you a little about my circus life.  If you want to know what I’m up to these days you can visit my other blog www.rollergirl96.wordpress.com 

I joined the circus aged 17. After battling with what I wanted to do for a living, and dodging 6th form college wherever possible, I found myself in the living room of the lady who ran our local amateur dramatics society.  At the time she was setting up an agency for actors and actresses and I thought maybe she could help me figure out what I wanted to do.  

I was at college at the time doing performing arts and english language A level, but deep down I was kidding myself and knew I was only going for the social life.  I explained that I wanted to do something in performing, but wasn’t sure that I wanted to follow my older brothers footsteps into acting.  I wanted my own path, something more designed for my specific talents.

 Anyway, a week later she called me to say she’d found an ad in ‘The stage’  ”Girl wanted for rollerskating act.  Must be (my height,my weight) gymnastic ability, not afraid of heights”  From then it was pretty much a whirl-wind.  I went with my dad to the audition at Chessington world of adventures, and I met Luiseto Garcia – we sat in his pokey beige caravan and little did I know this would be the start of our work relationship.  

He played me a video of the act I was auditioning for, I watched in horror as some chick was whirled around on a small platform, with the finale trick of her spinning by her neck around him. ‘well that the end of that’ I thought, ‘there is no way I can do that. we may as well just leave now’  I then had one of the strangest thing happen to me, when he asked “So?  What do you think?”  my mouth completely ignored my brain, opened and said with confidence “Yea, that looks fine, no problem.”

 And so it began, my circus life, I was 17 years old and had just landed a job with a total stranger, spinning by my neck, on rollerskates,  15 ft in the air.  I think this would be a good time to point out that crazy as that sounds my parents supported me all of this, and being a parent myself, I know that it was probably one of the hardest, but ultimately most positive things they ever did for me.  They got a lot of stick from people too, but however strange it sounds, they knew it was right for me.

So, I went back to manchester and told my performing arts teacher I would be leaving and why.  She told me it was the most…No, the second most ridiculous thing she had ever heard, the most ridiculous was from a girl who left college to be a page 3 girl – so now you know!  I trained in Chessington in the week and came home at weekends.  I trained with one of Luisetos friends, she was called Sally and by the end of everyday I could barely walk, but it was worth it in the end.

First jobs we got were galas in France, we would perform at business functions or kids partys, the board was also was low or on the ground at that time.  We stayed in a car park in a tiny snowy village, every morning I would wake up in my 1/2 a truck (the other half had props in) absolutely freezing! I would run about 2 miles to warm up, then we would practice – in the snow.  Nothing like the smack of ice cold air to bring you back from a neck spin.  

The very first time the board went up to full height was when we performed at the Massy international circus festival.  It was a huge deal for me and I was on the biggest high afterwards.  It was live on France television.  We didn’t win anything but I couldn’t have cared less.  It was my 18th birthday and time to celebrate.  

After that we got a 6 month contract with Cirkus Merano, the biggest tent show in Norway, that was so much work, but so much fun, you know the saying “work hard, play hard’? that was how it was, day in day out.  On a tent show like that, everyone helped with everything, doesn’t matter if you perform or who you are, you all pitch in. Arrive, set up tent, bring in props, check the rigging, practice, eat, get ready, show, pull down tent, drive, wake up in new place.

We moved every day there, I have fond memories of driving endless miles with luiseto, through the Norwegian mountains, with his one tape – ABBA gold.  On repeat.  we hauled that truck (my home) with his caravan behind it while he sang his heart out to dancing queen at full blast.  Only in the big towns did we stay for 5 days, Trondheim, bergen, stavanga, and boy did we all let our hair down when we did.  What 5 day?  Imagine our relief when we arrived in Oslo, we were there for 3 weeks!  You mean we’re actually here long enough to find out where the supermarket is? Or empty our chemical toilets (You heard me right)  Or find out where a bar is?  Excellent times on that show, wonderful people wonderful memories.

It was on that show that the wonderful late Tim Holst came to see us and offered us a contract for 2 years on the Ringling brothers barnum and bailey circus, to which we obviously agreed.  Now aged 19 I was off to America!  It had always been my dream at the time so I was pretty hyped up.

 My dad came out there with me and we stayed in Luisetos time share in Florida during winter-quarters – that was where the show was put together.  After my dad left I was on my own (well hardly with hundreds of other people there).  I remember the guy getting us all together and telling us we wee there because we were the best of the best.  I think I giggled at this point, I just felt silly.  Looking around the huge american arena, surrounded by incredible talented people I felt quite out of my depth – it didn’t last.  Soon we were rolling, literally, living  and traveling around on a train.  The most amazing experience of my life.  I will never forget some of those train runs, what a wonderful way to see the country..  

One more thing I never ‘ran away to the circus,’ it just kind of landed on my doorstep….